Stuck 

By Jasmine Adams

I'm stuck.
I'm smothered in stereotypes
And drowned in biases.
I'm floating around in a world that wasn't made for my people to win.
Tellin us “your name is to ethnic sorry” ”don’t wear your hair like that.”
Striping us of our identity.
“I don't see color”
Well then I guess you can’t see me.
i’ m stuck hearing the forbidden word slip off their tongue with the ER at the end
Me thinking, can I walk through the halls in peace? 
“You say it so why can’t i”
My and my people know that’s how we greet each other
You and your people use it with a double meaning under 
I'm stuck being loud and ghetto
“Why are you so smart?”
I am not supposed to be?
I’m stuck trying to be what everyone wants me to be
But in reality i just wanna be me but that’s impossible cause that’s not what they want me to be.
I’m stuck having my own teacher think stereotypes about me
“Did your parents go to college?”
Asking teacher “is she actually coming to get a book?”
Got teachers expecting me to fail.
MAN i pray for 5th period to be over
“Lord please let 5th period be over soon!”
I’m stuck being the only black girl in class
“Who wants to study HBCUs”
Heads turn to look at me because they know no one is going to do it
“Me.” i say quietly
No allies in that class but myself
I'm stuck with anxiety and trauma from the racist encounters i've had at my school 
“I don’t want to got to school today”
So hard to get up to got to a school where I don’t feel welcomed
And they wonder why i’m absent or late
These tears i cry
“I want different for my children”
But maybe they’re stuck too. 

See the difference between me and you is that this system made for you
Have you heard you’re yelling “I can't breathe” while in a choke of a person you're supposed
to protect?
I can’t breathe because I am being choked by the system.
Everyday i fear my little brothers walking down the street
“What if the police stop them” my anxiety says
They murder my people and don’t to jail
They fear me cuz of my melanin
They killed trayvon cus he has arizona and skittles on em
They killed Mike for the genetic target that is his skin color.
Who’s next, Daniel adams? Jaylen russell? Jasmine adams?
I am stuck because I don't know when this will end.
When karen will stop callin the police on black KIDS  for selling lemonade
There’s clearly a divide between your culture and mine.
You have the privilege to walk down the street
The system is make for you
Your name isn't too ethnic
You have the privilege to be an ally and stand up for my people to use your power for good
Not experiencing racism is a privilege on its own
Not having to hear your 5 year cousin come home crying because a white girl says to her “don't touch me i don’t want a black girl touching me.”
Katilyn bennett can walk around with a gun
But a black man with his hands in his pocket is a threat.
The average white family has 10 times the amount in savings than black people and latinx people.
Your people were allowed to get  houses and good jobs to build your wealth.
Black people and POC were denied that opportunity all because of their fucking skin.
Latinx kids are getting separated from their parents and living in camps with foil over them right now in america.
“O'er the land of the free and the home of the brave”
If it’s the land of the free why do i feel like i’m locked up in chains?
Why do I feel like I can't breathe?
Why do I feel like I'm being choked by the system?
Why do i feel like this system is made is made to kill me
Y’all wondering why I don't stand when you sing to me lies. 
I kneel for my ancestors.
I kneel for Eric garner.
I kneel with kaepernick.
I kneel for equity. 

I dream of a world where equity is key
Where we are all seen as equals
A world where we educate everyone one not just european history but everyone's history
I dream of a world where there isn’t internalized colorism and anti-blackness in every culture.
I dream of a world where no one lives in poverty.
I dream of a world where everyone has opportunity without being judged by their race, religious group, gender identification, sexuality etc.
I dream of a world where the president of the country i live in won’t build a wall to keep out a whole ethnic group.   
I dream of a world where people won’t be judged for who they love.
I dream of a world where “ too dark” doesn’t exist.
I dream of a world where you can be who you are without being judged.
I dream of a world where I will feel welcomed at my school.
I dream of a world where me and my family won’t have to fear the police.
I dream of a world that is safe for all people.
I dream of a world where environmental racism doesn’t exist. 
I dream of a world where constitutional racism doesn’t exist.
I dream of a world where racism doesn’t exist
I dream of a world where transphobia doesn’t exist.
I dream of a world where biphobia doesn’t exist.
I dream of a world where homophobia doesn’t exist.
I dream of a world where hatred doesn’t exist. 
This is world  that i dream will be a better world for you and me
This world will be better for mine and your children.
This world will be filled with love, happiness and support.
This world is not just a dream.
This world is what I want to be my reality.
So my kids won’t have to go to school in fear
So my brothers can walk down the street in confidence that they won’t get shot
So my brother can walk down the street with their hoods on 
So my little cousin can go to school and not be judged by her skin color
So i can be successful in life without being stuck.
“Look at the nation that’s a crooked smile braces couldn’t even straighten.” - j cole
But a girl can only dream
To not be stuck in this quicksand we call america.

Jasmine Adams

I'm Jasmine Adams. I'm 15 years old. I was born and raised in Portland, Oregon. I've been writing poems since 1st grade.